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Occupy= Vacancy
100th episode celebration
Hasta La Vista Arnie's Baby.

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Confessions

Occupy= Vacancy

 I am a curious guy. Always have been.  I ask a lot of questions. My curiosity has lead me to track down and learn all that I can about the world directly around me. The May Day protests, Occupy LA, the riots after the OJ verdict (I went and saw them first hand) I just have a need to see what the score is in person.
 
 When the May Day protests were going on in downtown Los Angeles, I had to check it out. There I saw hordes of distressed people who felt an injustice and were standing together to try and do something about it. I didn't feel their plight personally, but it was real as evidenced by the conviction with which they could collectively chant for Immigration Rights. No one gave me any grief there. Any and all that I asked, would if they could, tell me what the goals were.
 
 Contrast that with what I found when I made my first visit to the Occupy LA protests. There I truly felt like Pinocchio when he arrived on Pleasure Island. The sounds of sex coming from the tents, the never ending, ever present aroma of Marijuana coming from drum circles, "Dr's giving "Medicine" away for free @ 4:20 all weekend" and heck just the people who are smoking weed on the steps of City Hall. Couple that with the dancing girls shaking it hard in the drum circle, and I could see how getting turned into a donkey here could be a lot of fun. 
 
 But stuff here just doesn't make sense. Young college aged kids on their iPhones, wearing NIKE shoes, waiting for free Sbarro Pizza, while mumbling incoherently about how corporations are the root of the evil that has beset their rights as human beings. And where are the protesters? I mean the real ones, not the bums who came over from Skid Row. There are tons of signs littering the ground, but none of the encamped protesters were walking around holding them up. 
 
 So why are these folks here? How does this tiny, disruptive, group pull it off to stay on the previously lush lawns that surround City Hall? It has gotten around that if you have a political message on your stuff the police can't legally move it. Which is just one of the many untrue pieces of information that passed for knowledge at Occupy LA. I decided that since this is why they got to stay, I just had to read as many of the statements as I could. While maneuvering between the tents, I learned which tents celebrities should go in to find "Celebriweed", plenty of  Marxism, Socialism, Communism, Gay Rights, broad anti corporation messages, and of course the now omnipresent "99%".  
 
 This pointed out the most obvious and one of the biggest problems for this divergent group. Occupy LA doesn't have a collective message. Speaking to the people that were pointed out to me as the "leaders", my rather benign questions to them were slowly answered and quickly ignored. Simple things like "How come your donation/expense boards have not been updated in 14 days"  Blank stares."Why are you here?" "Cause we need change" "Why isn't anyone standing by the road holding up protest signs?" Nothing. I was told that my questions were "exhausting them". 
 
 Another thing about Occupy that I found dodgy and very much like summer camp, everyone here has two names. Joe, Mark and Patty have morphed into new alter egos Dump truck, Nugget and Sunshine. Anytime you use fake names= some scandalous bullshit too me.
 
 Anyone could get up and yell about whatever slight was affecting them that day. At one point, I happened to be standing with the movements "Librarian" and a band of drummers and musicians came through the center of the camp. They were dancing and beating their skins holding up signs imploring America to give back California to Mexico. 'This cant be right" I thought to myself. "All these Americans cant be standing around supporting this cause. Can they?" I asked aloud. I was told to "Shut up and enjoy the music." The only time they want anyone to shut up is when they are being asked questions. It actually made sense to me now, Occupy LA does not want a cohesive message. Their goals are as vacant as can be, otherwise Summer Camp ends and they have to go home to mommy and daddy. 
 
 I really wanted to find some area I could help in.  Spray painted tents with "Political parties," "FUCK Lobbyists", "The Industrial Revolution", "Credit" All these issues piss me off.  I don't feel that I have any control over them, but I could at least try. And that's when I saw the instance where I am the 1%,. Apparently the Rose Parade is now something to Occupy. Yes the tyrannical Rose Parade (Disclosure- I have been a member of Tournament Of Roses for a few years now) was finally going to get what it had coming. Which to me shows that they don't plan on ending this nonsense until at least the beginning of next year. Good news for the reporters that had been covering the Conrad Murray trials just two blocks away, at least they don't have to go far to find the bullshit that makes up most of their evening broadcasts.
 
 Of course I could be wrong on all this, so tune in to this weeks episode and hear first hand as I bring in one of the only people I could find from the movement to defend it themselves. Thursday 6:00 PM PST @ www.myndr.com

100th episode celebration

 
 
 
 
ONE NIGHT ONLY! SUNDAY AUG. 14 AT 6 PM AT THE UCB THEATRE!!!

INTRODUCING GRAND THEFT AUDIO: A 100TH EPISODE CELEBRATION & CAVALCADE 
OF STARS!

A night of comedy, live music, taiko drumming, burlesque stripteasing, Mexican dancing, and the world's freakiest magician!!! All in an hour for just $5!!!

It's the show the LA Times calls "Magic!" and "Very Funny!" and has been LA Weekly's Comedy Pick of the Week!

FEATURING:
THE WALSH BROTHERS (UCB)!!! HIP HOP PENGUINS (UCB)!!! RYAN STOUT 
(Conan, Chelsea Lately), SAM TRIPOLI (Spike TV, Improv), HENRY PHILIPS 
(Comedy Central), DARYL WRIGHT (Improv), JACKIE LOEB (Australian 
superstar comic!), RUS GUTIN (Comedy Store), ADAM GROPMAN (Improv), 
SCOTT VINCI (Comedy Store), JOHNNY DAM (New Dissident Radio), SUSANNA 
"LUCKY DELUXE" LEE (National burlesque comedy superstar) ANTONIO SACRE 
(International comic storyteller), POCHO JOE (East Coast comic poetry 
slam legend), BIENO SVENGALI (Freak comedy magician from "Ripley's 
Believe It or Not!"), the band MAY MCDONAGH & COMPANY, SUE B. DANCE COMPANY, 
CHUCHIN DANCERS, TAIKO DRUMMERS, FIT PIT PRO WRESTLERS and...

A VERY SPECIAL UCB FAVORITE SURPRISE GUEST STAR!!!! SERIOUSLY, ONE OF THE BIGGEST STANDUPS IN ALTERNATIVE COMEDY!!!

THAT'S 20 ACTS IN 60 MINUTES FOR $5!!!
MISS THIS? ARE YOU CRAZY????
HURRY HURRY HURRY!!!
 
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Hasta La Vista Arnie's Baby.

Listen Junior, Here we are on the 6th day of this story. Get out the Eraser, it's the End of Days, Call in the marriage Terminator. While it's True, Lies haven't been accused in this one, It Doesn't take a Kindergarten Cop to feel the red heat glow of Collateral Damage.
 
  I was visiting my friend Hercules In New York and he had a whole Rundown. His Total Recall was these two were tight, like Twins or maybe a Batman and Robin. Maria says he may have been a sexual Predator. But I think that gives him a Raw Deal. We all know he probably goes Commando and virtually invented the Red Sonya, but he's not a Barbarian or a Destroyer. While he was a Running Man for Governor you can look the other way but Maria took the Last Stand and decided Arnie was Expendable.
 
  You know this wont be a cheap divorce, someones pockets are going to Jingle All the Way to the bank. Really, the Last Action Hero this happened to was Mel Gibson and we all know how that turned out.

Arnie Doesn't always get Divorced but when he does hes Pumping Iron. Cry Macho my Friend.
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